Yesterday was my first time to cry since dropping my husband off on Monday at the farm and driving away.
Hearing those words from God…it’s time to leave Him there.
No was racing through my mind as I was shaking my head with tears flowing.
I walked into church knowing I was going to have to sit alone…the seat he sits in would be empty.
The congregation felt my pain as they gathered around laying their hands on me and praying.
Everyday I send him a text that says I love you and he replies with I love you too.
I don’t want him to forget that!
My heart knows God is working…but my mind ask how long, Lord, how long?
Last night he texted me…it’s cold…I might have to find me somewhere to stay.
Oh I so badly just wanted to run over there and pick him up and care for him but I didn’t.
I had just watched a video by Juggling the Jenkins on not enabling the addict.
That’s what I’ve been doing…making him comfortable while God is saying I need him to be uncomfortable.
Now I have an idea how God must feel.
So many times God has had to use tough love with me. I see that now.
When He didn’t rush in to rescue me because He needed me to fall hard so He could raise me up transformed.
I know at times it ‘feels’ like God is not working but His word says:
But Jesus replied, “My Father is always working, and so am I.”—John 5:17
We can trust if we are praying about it…God is working on it!
God will always love my husband more than I ever could…it’s there in my Father’s hands I’m leaving him.
This is so hard—tough love is hard!
Maybe you’re in a place where you ‘feel’ like God has forgotten you.
In Hebrews 13:5, He says He will never leave or forsake us.
I haven’t left my husband.
I haven’t forsaken my husband.
I’m here interceding for him as Holy Spirit groans and intercedes for me.
I’m simply waiting for the Lord to complete the work in Him that He has started.