To the One My Soul Loves,
I don’t even know how to write you today because I’m grieved. I’ve been grieved for the people I love.
So many people are hurting with things that are hidden from the natural eye of man.
Two summers ago, I received a message from a follower on my blog. I didn’t really know her well but she needed someone to talk to.
Guess where I took her? The ridge.
Do you remember me asking you if that would be ok with you?
You had just placed my porch bench up there on the ridge. So we walked and talked and set on the bench and shared.
I remember her telling me she just really needed someone that was going to understand and not think she was crazy.
Naturally she messaged me…I’m probably pictured with Noah in the dictionary by the definition of crazy.
She didn’t want people to think she was crazy because she wanted to stay and fight for her marriage too.
At that time, I’d been fighting so hard and long for my first marriage…which you know.
I gave her the encouragement she needed not knowing in just a few months my own marriage would be over.
Now here we are full circle.
Two years later from the first time she reached out to me…this time she’s experienced something I’ve experienced with you.
Something I haven’t shared with anyone but those closest to me.
This time I don’t want to share because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy because I want to stay and fight for my marriage with you.
Last night, with a pang in my heart I messaged her back with…I understand fully what you are feeling right now.
Oh how I wished I didn’t.
It’s so easy for someone to ask…why is she wanting to stay?
For me it’s easy.
They aren’t there when you dance with me in the laundry mat, in the kitchen, or by the plum tree as you sing the words in my ear and cry as you squeeze me tight.
They aren’t there when you hold me up in the shower and I feel like every care washes away.
They aren’t there on our walks when you stop me under the mistletoes just so you can kiss my neck and take my breath away.
They aren’t there when I wake to you reading your Bible and asking me what I’d like for you to make me for breakfast.
They aren’t there on our tractor rides where we share our dreams or on those lazy days when we watch John Wayne and I cry and you laugh.
They just aren’t there day to day to fully understand how well you love me despite this one thing.
I see you…I love you…and I will war alongside you until our dreams come to fruition and victory is ours.
I know the plans God has for us…I know He’s going to use our pain for the gain of others.
I’m not ashamed of our mess because it’s our message of just how amazing our God is.
I believe in the words inscribed on your wedding ring and that are written in 1 Corinthians 13…love never fails.
His love will not fail us…it’s just not possible.
I love you with all my heart,
Sarah Elizabeth Morgan
PS…I still don’t like that the pup had to die in the movie Big Jake.